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When I walk into class
You’re the first I see
You smile and give a little wave
When I'm too scared I get my friend to ask
You always say Ya I guess, she's pretty I guess
But I get confused when I talk to you
I feel like you hate me
Well..
I just can't take it anymore
When I risk everything
You risk nothing
So I slit my wrists
And I’m sure I go really deep
And with one more cut I’ll be gone
for good
So I write you this message
To tell you how I feel
And now I close my eyes
and I now rest in peace
away from you
A girl
A life
A wrist
A knife
A tear
A rip
A cut
A slit
A death
A friend
Whose life...
Did end!!!!
I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more
The suicide note
the suicide note,
is hardest to write,
because you have to,
say goodbye,
Now this girl was stressed,
with bullies and boyfriends,
she hate to burn,
but her life was a thread,
now it's time to snip it,
here and now,
she wrote the note,
she didn't know how,
it said:
To my mother,
I love you so much,
To my father,
you too,
To all the haters,
Keep on hating me,
To my boyfriend,
Laters,
and this is a silent cry,
of a mistaken,
suicide butterfly,
will she see you in hell?
because her final trip out,
is leave the station...
she wants to give you a final good-bye...
My last cry for help went unanswered,
I took that as my sign for departure.
I signed my note in crimson ink,
My bloody Suicide Note.
Night after night I cried myself unconscious,
everyday I put on my smile.
I pretended everything was fine,
when it took all I had to smile.
So I signed my note in crimson ink,
My bloody Suicide Note.
I left you with a note from me;
it said how much I loved you,
how sorry I was it had to end this way,
how I couldn't stand my pain.
I signed those notes in crimson ink,
My bloody Suicide Notes.
Am I Alone?
I get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my dad says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
it will some day.
Let me bleed away my pain,
Melt away from all my fears.
These wounds get deeper as I go,
I've chocked back all my tears.
The hurt inside my darkest dreams,
Shows through my stone cold eyes.
To open them would tear my soul,
For half the night I waste in sighs.
Suicide is my only friend,
To help me through my tasks.
Suicide is the only friend,
To let me forget my past.
I do not ask for many things,
So of you I ask this;
Will suicide be my only friend?
Or will you save me from this misery?
Warped & Twisted
Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted
contemplate this thought,
A thought of giving up,
A thought of suicide,
I take a knife,
And plunge it deep,
And feel of suicide,
I swallow the pills,
And got to sleep,
And dream of suicide,
I take a gun,
And pull the trigger,
And commit suicide
If I could have my dreams come true
These are the things I'd like to do.
To have a cabin deep in the woods,
And someone to share both the bad and the good.
We'd lie by the fireplace,forever it seems,
And share with each other our future of dreams.
As we tire of talking,we'd snuggle up close,
These are the times, I'd cherish the most.
The times when I feel so close to someone,
Who gives me such pleasure and so much fun.
Who isn't afraid of what the future may bring,
And share so much love, that our hearts sing.
Sometimes I wonder will my dreams come true?
And I ask myself, could it be with you?
I don't have the answer, atleast not to share,
I'm afraid if I share them, you wouldn't care.
So, until the time comes, when the timing is right,
I'll cherish our time everyday and night.
And if in the future, our dreams become one,
Then I'll know that my dreams has only begun.
To have you beside me, through the rough seas and good,
I know we'd make magic, I'm sure that we could.
For you are my soul mate, I believe in my heart,
And to get to our dreams, we must first make a start.
So, please take my hand, and don't be afraid,
I believe that together, our cabin will be made.
I'll never doubt my feelings for you,
And if you return them, all our dreams can come true.
Laughing.
Laughing.
At my jokes.
Screaming.
Crying.
Inside of me.
Having
fun,
with my friends.
Streams of tears
drip down my
heart.
I smile,
when I
see
you.
You smile,
when you
see
me.
I
bleed,
when I
see
you.
You smile,
when you
see
me.
Screaming.
Crying.
Inside.
Laughing.
Smiling.
I
wave
to
you.
Never say I love you....if you really don't care,
never talk about feelings....if they aren't really there,
never hold my hand...if you're going to break my heart,
never say you're going to....if you don't plan to start,
never look me in the eyes....if all you do is lie,
never say hello....if you really mean goodbye,
if you really mean forever....then say you'll try,
never say forever....'cuz forever makes you cry!
There is a part of me
That feels I am different from everyone else.
Something that I can't quite see,
Something that I can't quite feel,
Something so unreal.
But this 'thing' is always there,
This 'thing' with others, I will never share.
So I push it to the back of my mind,
All the thoughts of boys and clothes
And make-up, it is hiding behind.
Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten,
It comes back with such ferocity,
Angry and unforgiving.
I feel so lost and sad,
Whatever caused this feeling
Must have been so horrible and bad.
A lost memory or something else,
I'll never know,
Whatever it is,
I know for sure,
I can never let this feeling show.
Late nights, Boy fights, Beach times, Pick up lines, Belly tops, Flip flops, Blue skys, Hott guys, Up all night, Pillow fights, Lemonade, In the shade, Midnight kisses, Secret wishes our tans may fade but the memories will last forever....
The first thing I think of
When I think of you,
Is your wonderful smile.
The second would be your adorable laugh.
I could go on and on,
But the list would never end.
When I think of the short time
That we've been together
And of all of the happy memories we've already shared
It amazes me to no end
And I know that we were meant to be together.
I look at you and see overflowing love, hope, and joy
As well as charm, strength, happiness and dignity.
With all of these wonderful qualities
It's no wonder I love you so.
Can my life get better?
Or is it gonna stay?
Can I start again?
Or will it go away?
Can I ask you something?
Why did God choose me?
Can I take I back?
Or will it always be?
Can I find my mummy?
But why?d she leave me here?
Can I stop this hurting?
Who?ll wipe away my tear?
Can you make me happy?
Then why am I so sad?
Can you tell me exactly why?
Why were you so mad?
Can you take my life?
Cause I don?t want to live
Can you tell me why you left?
I have my life to give
Can you tell my daddy
That it?ll be ok,
I?ll be waiting for him
And I?ll see him soon.. one day
Can?t somebody hear me,
Promise you won?t cry?
Cause it was my decision
It was my choice to die
Can you promise something?
Please smile when I go
I should?ve told my love my heart
I guess he?ll never know
Can you understand me?
I?m sorry but it?s true
I couldn?t handle all the shit
That I was going through
My spirit inside, was captured
But I?ve just set it free
Tell everyone I?m sorry
But if you would only see
Abuse is really painful
I couldn?t take the pain
Don?t forget I?ll wait right here
To see you once again
I love you for your friendship
Promise not to cry,
I?ll see you in another life
I love you?..and goodbye
3 'o'clock
Why can't I sleep?
I toss and turn, I sing I read
Why can't I stop worrying?
Those sheep don't work
And the house to quiet
I light my candles and silently sit.
My feet are frozen
My lips are dry
I think of you
And tears fall from my eyes
The dark room holds my fears
Like a mother holds her child
I crawl back in bed
And curl up in a ball
I am exhausted
But for some reason
I can not sleep at ALL!
I remember when getting high meant swinging at the playgrounds. The worst thing you could get from a girl was cooties. Race issues were who could run the fastest. The only thing you smoked was the tires on your bike. Life was so simple and carefree, but the thing I remember the most was wanting to grow up
